Last Day In Tawau.

Hey, that was it.

Its 1:10AM now so yesterday was my last day in Tawau. Best words to describe it would be 'monotonously meaningful'. Today was a day just spent with family time. Trying to make things seems just as normal as possible. I guess the time when it hit me was when I was packing and when my brother roy told Faith that there uncle colin wont be around anymore.

At that point I just cried and cried thinking of me packing and the place I will unpack, I locked myself in my room and played my boyz to men playlist for three hours straight. Im kidding.

I was just sad and the only person there was not even there. I spoke briefly to my cousin Karissa on MSN who is staying with Hosea (my future house mate, man!) and she gave me some words i guess. So I spent my day with family, dad mostly. We had a feast! A feast I tell you! He just fed and fed me the whole day and a barbecue to end the days feast. A feast!
He looked the most concerned but my mom is more, she just doesnt show it. My dad LOOKED concerned, she keeps it all in.
My day was just different.
I left my phone at my uncle's place so I was cut off from friends.
It was really just focusing on my journey ahead and spending as much time with my family. Ohh I'm going to miss my niece so so much. At least I got her used to saying uncle before i leave.

So I got my luggage packed. It looks really (turns to look at it)neat and poised from the outside tell ya that. Not the inside though. I really felt that I was trying to fit in a 200pound man into my luggage.
Other than that, things are settled now. My dad and I were in my room just now talking, (no, not the man to man talk, he was playing computer games) he taught me the ATM tricks and taught me how to be careful when using the ATM machines.
Oh wait, I did get a sorta kinda scrap book from the youth. I really appreciate it, ahh. Inside there was a love gift from uncle eddie's family. God's provision has already begun.

I did my bible study before I posted and I read these verses which actually prompted me to post a...uh post..
Here's what I really liked in Ephesians 5 (Contemporary English Version).
1Do as God does. After all, you are his dear children. 2Let love be your guide. Christ loved us and offered his life for us as a sacrifice that pleases God.
AMEN to that!
I really liked let love be your guide. God Is love! So I should be guided by His love. Simple as that.
Time to end this post, I need sleep! I have to face a lot of things tomorrow, leaving tawau would be the major one.
Goodnight Tawau.

Crash & Burn

Crash & Burn :-
To really screw up one's life by making bad choices.
According to Urban dictionary.com.

Hello!

I just got off my daily bible reading with my loyal friend - joe, jojo, joey. We were doing bible study, so i played my Gospel playlist and decided to listen to Kutless's Sea of faces. To those that dont know, I got myself into a car accident three months ago. One that almost took my life away but by God's grace, I'm still here. You can read all about it in my facebook, a note titled Life & Hope which I wrote the night of the accident. So I was listening to this song when the accident happened and tonight is the first time I am listening to it after my accident. This is going to be one of my anthem's from now on.

So tonight we were reading Ephesians 2 and the song and the title of the chapter - Made Alive in Christ just came together like two long lost siblings and I feel God inspiring me with His words. Ephesians is divided into to 1. from death to life in God and 2. United in Christ. Wow.

Here what is says from verse 1 - 10 ( Contemporary English Version)

From Death to Life

"1In the past you were dead because you sinned and fought against God. 2You followed the ways of this world and obeyed the devil. He rules the world, and his spirit has power over everyone who doesn't obey God. 3Once we were also ruled by the selfish desires of our bodies and minds. We had made God angry, and we were going to be punished like everyone else.

4-5But God was merciful! We were dead because of our sins, but God loved us so much that he made us alive with Christ, and God's wonderful kindness is what saves you. 6God raised us from death to life with Christ Jesus, and he has given us a place beside Christ in heaven. 7God did this so that in the future world he could show how truly good and kind he is to us because of what Christ Jesus has done. 8You were saved by faith in God, who treats us much better than we deserve. [a] This is God's gift to you, and not anything you have done on your own. 9It isn't something you have earned, so there is nothing you can brag about. 10God planned for us to do good things and to live as he has always wanted us to live. That's why he sent Christ to make us what we are."

I read verse 7 and it just says God saved me from my accident so He can show how great He is to me, and to all of us. I deserved this accident, but I never deserved a single bit of God's love because of who I am. I cant even try to buy my way to His love, I cant even earn it. It is ALL HIM.

The following verses talks about us being united in Christ. Again, his ultimate plan.

United by Christ

"11Don't forget that you are Gentiles. In fact, you used to be called "uncircumcised" by those who take pride in being circumcised. 12At that time you did not know about Christ. You were foreigners to the people of Israel, and you had no part in the promises that God had made to them. You were living in this world without hope and without God, 13and you were far from God. But Christ offered his life's blood as a sacrifice and brought you near God.

14Christ has made peace between Jews and Gentiles, and he has united us by breaking down the wall of hatred that separated us. Christ gave his own body 15to destroy the Law of Moses with all its rules and commands. He even brought Jews and Gentiles together as though we were only one person, when he united us in peace. 16On the cross Christ did away with our hatred for each other. He also made peace [b] between us and God by uniting Jews and Gentiles in one body. 17Christ came and preached peace to you Gentiles, who were far from God, and peace to us Jews, who were near God. 18And because of Christ, all of us can come to the Father by the same Spirit. 19You Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens with everyone else who belongs to the family of God. 20You are like a building with the apostles and prophets as the foundation and with Christ as the most important stone. 21Christ is the one who holds the building together and makes it grow into a holy temple for the Lord. 22And you are part of that building Christ has built as a place for God's own Spirit to live."

We were never somebody, we were nothing! No part of the promise, miles cant measure how far we were from God but the tables turned because of what Jesus did. Verse 18 onwards just explains who we are in Christ now. I am just blessed.
I have people in my life who God has sent who are just the most amazing man and woman of God! I have brothers and sisters in Christ to back me up no matter what. Love so much between us and Im only 17, I am so excited to meet even more further down on the road of my life. Although I know we will all be united one day. I just wanna post a shout out to my big family, I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Now, let me explain. My car accident experience is now my motivator to share the Love of Christ. I am going to share over and over in my life about my accident to all kinds of people. I cant wait.
Best thing is, WE ARE UNITED in this guys. Christ is doing so much in our lives to bring us together!

So I definitely crashed and burned during my accident, but I want to redefine what it means to me now.

I crashed, I crashed hard in that accident. However by God's grace and plan, my soul was ignited for God. My soul is burning to share the love of our great God!

Crashed & Burned,
Colin.

----------------
Now playing: Kutless - Sea of Faces
via FoxyTunes

What A Day. What A Day.

" Is it my imagination or do you feel good?"
"What a day, What a day, What a day,What a day, these are the days! "
- We are the young by Mcfly.

The sound of Danny Jones belting out "what a day! what a day!" just echoes in my mind. Today definitely has been an awesome day and its not even over yet.

Today my family and I met up at 7.30AM to go to Kalabakan which is about an hour and a half drive from Tawau.

TO BUILD A CHURCH!

Yes, our church (Tawau Baptist Church) has more than 50 mission points in Sabah itself. We have two churches in Kalabakan and this church is actually for a temporary purpose until a new proper building is constructed. Apparently the owner of the plot of land wanted the land back so another church member offered his piece of land for this church.

I had less than two hours of sleep the night before so I was doubting myself whether I can really help or stay asleep in the back seat, but I know if my heart is where it should belong, God will give me the strength I need right? That happened of course, I'm still up posting this blog :) A deep deep sleep after this definitely.

On the way, Ive always been taken away by the scenery. I didn't get any good shots of it though. But here's one in the heart of the village heading to the church.


Meeting up with family just added the excitement! I mean, c'mon! We're actually building a house of God! A place for the local natives to gather and worship our AMAZING GOD! We came to help on the second day actually, the main pillars and the roof have already been placed. Our job was to 'cover' (?) the church up. Oh, all the materials used for this church is actually from the old church. They took it down and reused everything! Even the nails. Here's a shot of the church when we just arrived.


I really began to feel what this means to the people here. It is NO EASY TASK here, placing every plank, measurement, the methods used by the people here are 100% old school = hard labor. I imagined the building finished and people coming to this place every Sunday morning to worship and fellowship with one another. How beautiful. This is THE place for the people here to gather and worship. All the village man were there to help too, true man. I realised that I have taken too much for granted. We were then invited by an old man to his house for coffee and tea. When we arrived, we all sat down on the floor in this literally empty living room. No TV,no electricity, no proper water supply but just looking around me to see that I am sitting in a complete house gave me a sense of accomplishment. See, people here build their own houses on their own land. Just looking at basic carpentry and architecture, I am amazed already by how much effort and hard labor it took.


That my friends, is just a residence. What all of us (the village people and 14 people, a small fraction of my family) are doing currently, is building a house for GOD.
The universe maker, the one who gave the sun its light, the greatest lover, the ultimate creator. We were building, HIS CHURCH.

After the tea break, we went back to the building site. I was of course, SUNBLOCKED. Check out my head gear;


The men started working on the back of the church while the ladies ( the only ladies there were my aunts, and believe me, they became professional carpenters today.)



I feel like I have been exaggerating the hard work we did because seriously, all we did was laughing and joking the whole time. The village men had to tolerate the ladies at work too! (screaming after every successful nail). All the hard work was HARDLY felt at all, God was really there with us today.



The picture above with the prawns was our lunch The villages specialty = giant river prawns. That was basically what our jokes today revolved around. Everybody just couldnt wait for lunch time and we were joking that working harder will get us hungry faster so lunch time would be earlier!

At about 4pm, we finished our job. We covered the sides and the back of the church. Now all is left is the coil wired sides and the entrance which will be done by the locals. Apparently they want to decorate it in their traditional art.
We had our closing prayer and after ANOTHER tea break, we headed back to Tawau. The hospitality of the villagers is just so wonderful.

Man, I feel like Ive been apart of something that is truly of God. See there are only two ways you can look at it, its either you are just there to lend a hand and be charitable or you are there with the heart for God's work be done. I thank God He gave me that mindset and realization from the beginning to the end. Every nail that I hammered, every moment working together as God's team of people, I was able to take in in such an amazing perspective. I really want to see this church completed, remind me if I forget, but I will post a photo of the church when its done.

Ephesians 1:22-23
22God has put all things under the power of Christ, and for the good of the church he has made him the head of everything. 23The church is Christ's body and is filled with Christ who completely fills everything.

Here are some photos on the way back, the main bridge that connects both sides of the village from a remarkably wide river. Timber - the main industry in this area. I forgot to tell you guys but this village is actually where a few of my uncle's and aunts were born including my dad. One of my dad's part time job's while he was in high school was to categorize the timber according to their length and width. Our road back.





THIS POST IS LONG! Hope you guys enjoyed it, God is truly working here. No doubt He is working in every other part of the world. How Great is our God.

Here's a tired group photo, compare the building to the picture when we just arrived.

Prayer Time!

Guys I just something so weird and crazy!
Best thing is God is glorified and made known!

I was surfing through the net and came across Machi's Website after a sudden urge to listen to one of their old songs. To those of you who dont know Machi, they have to be one of the biggest hip hop groups in Asia/ Taiwan, and oh!,NO, they are not a Christian group. Look them up to see how big they are.
So I was reading through their blogs and found this post titled ' Salvation'. It was posted by a guy named Steven Lin. He must be a new member Ive never heard of him. Well ok, I confess, I dont know much about Machi. I just know two of their band members names and two songs.



So Steven( my new friend hah!) posted about his perspective on life and what measures a man's success. The post goes on with many, many words I do not understand but the whole idea was just leaving God out of the picture. His last sentence was that, he is one step closer to Salvation.

Then all of a sudden!

I came up with this crazy idea to write a comment and share with him the gospel! Boy what was I thinking! I was so nervous and I didn't really know what to say.

(Confession time, I have never really shared the gospel directly to someone. I guess this prepares me to. So to all those that are in the same position as me, share it to strangers. It wont hurt, a seed is planted, God is glorified. Just make sure your actions and words are inspired by God though. So go to whoever your favourite artist's page and flood it with the gospel. My first thought was Mariah Carey. Strange.)

So I prayed. I prayed for God's wisdom. All I hope for is that a seed is planted. Who knows what can happen? maybe not now but in the far future.
So I DID share the gospel with him through a comment on that post.
Here's what I wrote (forgive me if I left anything out or have a wrong idea):

"Hey i agree with you 100% percent on your views of life. However you mentioned at the end that you are one step closer to salvation. Im glad you discovered the essence of life however I would like to just share with you what salvation means to me.
I am a Christian, and we believe that we receive salvation when we place our faith in Jesus, profess that we are sinners and He's our only way out, believe He died on the cross to take our sins away and asking Him to come into your life. Best part is, all that in one simple prayer.
See in the bible, in John 3:16 it says "For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."
So if you ask me about salvation, I'd tell you I don't have to worry about it, not one second because I got it, all out of love.
My father, God, friend, is all about Love. Christianity is just another word for Love. I choose to believe in Him because of His great love for me.
Love.
Holla at me."

I made sure I had the 'holla at me' line. wooh! man Im losing all the hip hop in me. I will continue this post in all hip hop-ness then.
So I really hope this cat really gets to know how great of a lover our God is; and receive salvation. One day.
So I ask you guys to put this into your prayers today.
Who knows what God can do?!

Im bouncin, ONE.

heh.

Bumpin to Machi - Jump.


Before and After This Post.

Life Is Calling

Put on my jacket,
Walk down the stairs,
Silently.
Making my way,
Through the dark cause I cant on the lights,
No.

Camera in my hand, trying to take the memories,
Its 6am, what does it matter to me,
Ill be leaving, with no return.

Goodbye to my years,
Ive paid you with my tears, oh.
Don't be sad, i will be back,
I've grown enough to face these fears.
However, nothing lasts forever,
By the time that I return its not the same.

Couldn't sleep tonight. um, maybe cuz u added enough hours of sleep here and there Colin. ( see im even talking to myself already) i looked outside and as the sky was still dark blue, birds have already
begun to chirp relentlessly. i live in a small neighborhood, the pace is rather slow here. so i decided to take a walk.
the words above best described my morning stroll through my neighborhood. It was supposed to be lyrics for a goodbye song but i realised i only changed the lyrics to a song i liked after revising the melody a couple of times. bummer. back to the walk..
It was brief, but i took in as much as I can. I took enough photos i suppose of my taman before it ran out of batteries. i got really loud barks by
all kinds of dogs, i guess theyve never seen me coming out so early. said hello to an uncle living opposite of me, he used to do tai chi, he strolls now.
wow i just realise this is gonna be those boring random post that only the author enjoys. heh. ill talk about food later on, so hang in there k.
great now i forgot what to say. u got me thinking of the food part already!
...



as i walked back to my house, i realise that i wont be able to experience this as much as i would want to in the future. think about how big and wide that
'in the future' is. i mean, WOW. I wont know where will I be, what will I do in any given time. when can i ever do this again? will i even think of it?
then came many more 'things'. I realise i need to spend more time with friends and family.
See the thing that came to me was that, although i will be back. It will just NEVER be the same, not even close. This will be the first leaving family and home.
A new phase of life. and what is past is for you to push on to the future. you dont see a butterfly moving back to sweet sweet cocoon on a rainy day do you?
i am excited to enter this new beginning, i just wish it was much easier as the last one was compared to all the thoughts and feelings I have now. just 'ploop!' and im in the world! my mom would not like the sound of that haha.
i guess what i want to say is that im afraid and sad but excited. I guess that is how everyone feels. No matter how much you are leaving behind, it is still
apart of you. Hardest thing is, you are taking it with you and you dont know whether the pieces would fit back in.
I know one things for sure though, God has planned everything out perfectly for me alone to enjoy His love. I really cant put enough words, or the right words
to describe this.

I still have a good week ahead of me before I leave and before I do, I just want to say I love you and im going to miss you so badly 'life'.

now the food part begins. (i typed this in advance so i wont forget!)
I am going to find somebody now and bring them for a kan lau mien breakfast with me! with the sweetly seasoned roasted char siew..i cant continue, i have to go for it now.

remember though,
Life is calling out to each and everyone of us, are you listening?


Currently listening to Switchfoot - This is home.


**Post update
Yes! I just got back from breakfast with my mom and I got my noodles. Better yet it was downed with a cup of hot milo nai. (Nai = milk, in this case, condensed milk). We went to the market to get breakfast for the nursery kids after breakfast. Now im back in my room and i am more awake! When will I ever sleep?! AHHH!

Never Turning Back!

Yo!
Guess who's back with a brand new rap ...
hahah no this is not one of those..
but I am back with a new song!
I love how I finished the song with a favorite quote of mine from a movie called 'though none go with me'.
The movie was about an old lady who remained faithful to God her whole life through all sorts of struggles and her words were ' though none go with me, I will follow you, never turn back, never turn back'

This song is just that! Taking our stand in the Lord and always stay true to Him no matter what. I hope it encourages you or just put a smile on your face. I enjoy this song a lot!

I recorded a demo version of it and I'm gonna record a full acoustic version with Don later this week.

Here are the lyrics :

I am here,
with nothing in my mind but to sing,
Oh,

I am here,
Know that I'm in hunger and in thirst,
for you,

I'm letting all the world to see,
What my King has done for me,
You wont believe

What do they know of me,
Compared to what my eyes have seen,
Jesus.

I am here
Dont you turn on me
I am here
Im taking my stand

and though none go with me,
I'd never turn back,
I'd never turn back.

I cant wait to get out there and sing this for God with other people!
even though none sing with me,
I will still sing, no turning back.



P/S
Why is it that a lot my inspiration comes when I am 'relaxing' on my toilet seat? This song was one of these experiences. The words "I am here" just came to me once I sat down today. Man. May more of them come though!

Christ is breathing in me.

I had and am still in this really weird night. I slept at 11 and woke up at 2, that was a nap! How disappointed I was when I woke up, I told myself "sleep! go back to sleep!" but it was just too weird and i started to wake up. Finally I gave in and three hours later Im still here now posting to me blog!

Anyway, I wanna write about what happened in that time. minus my attempt to cook arab fried rice which actually worked. Im gonna let hosea HAVE THAT!
So Joey was still online and we had our second bible reading - Galatians 2 (New Living Translation).
This couple of verses stood out - 6 And the leaders of the church had nothing to add to what I was preaching. (By the way, their reputation as great leaders made no difference to me, for God has no favorites.)

This works for caths - 16 Yet we know that a person is made right with God by faith in Jesus Christ, not by obeying the law. And we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we might be made right with God because of our faith in Christ, not because we have obeyed the law. For no one will ever be made right with God by obeying the law.”^[d]

17 But suppose we seek to be made right with God through faith in Christ and then we are found guilty because we have abandoned the law. Would that mean Christ has led us into sin? Absolutely not!

and last but not least - 20 My old self has been crucified with Christ.^[e] It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 21 I do not treat the grace of God as meaningless. For if keeping the law could make us right with God, then Christ DIED FOR NOTHING!

So we were talking abt what we read and the muslim prayers began! at around 4.40am and immediately (hahah! it started again now). And immediately I felt how blessed I was, how blessed we are! We are living in a world we dont belong but Christ is so alive! Here we are reading the bible and discussing it. I like Me. (Kirk Franklin - I Like Me)

Im going to try to sleep now again while listening to Mcfly - Corrupted.
and a bit of B2K - One Kiss.
Morning! Its 5am Colin.

Another Sunday

Hey, the title says it all..it has been another just another Sunday today..Ive been quite disappointed with how distracted I am from God lately.. but Ive been reading an old old old book papa lend me ( or gave me:D) called "The Imitation of Christ" by Thomas A. Kempis..
Im really glad I found a hard hitting question that will make my heart pound and my mind blow each time I ask myself this

" Do you want to be great or Humble?"

This is going to be my guideline from now on. Its going to be the question mark I carry everywhere for the rest of my life. I'm definitely going to use this to challenge people I meet and most of all, myself. Its a major question for my life, especially for where I wanna be at. Singing in front of thousands - taking all the credit or being a humble servant?
Thanks pa, thanks thomas, Thanks DAD.

Today has also been the last day I will be seeing Jeleta Bumi for a long time. They had sapi today! hahah It was the companies but it fell sick and died before the muslims could 'sembelih' it so some workers took it and shared it amongst the people in the middle of the oil palm trees. So there we have it! First time we had sapi in JB, we didnt get to eat those curry eggs though... maybe Bapa Don was disapointed hahah. After that we stopped at Kunak for buntut and sayap, for.....Daniel Makka's Birthday! That meant it was Ben's Birthday as well hahahahah those brothers hahahahaha I remember how sad Ben was his last night here. I told Don our special seasoning for the food was his tears cuz he was the one making sure everyone had food and the that bbq was bbq'd well :) Love ya man.

Coming back...i found out fay2 had a haircut at hairstudio! haha gna check it out tomorrow. Personally I need one as well. I thought of writing a letter to Hannah Bondy tonight, lets see if tht works out. Looking forward to Passion and Connexion. man those conferences took all the good names haha

Im listening to mcfly's new album, the free version through the mail though. Their songs are getting better tell ya that.
Speaking of songs, mine are done as don said, we'll see when I can record it next week. Ill update on that, for sure.

I started a bible reading with Joey too, I am insecure of my commitment to it. Ill pray about and see. There a lot of things I need to be focusing on in prayer these days. Things are sort of idle now but its going to be a whirlwind pretty soon.

I guess thats it for now. From now on im gonna post what song Im listening to now as well. This is to make sure I can still hear my 'good ol' music' in the future.
Bye for now.
Enjoy the sounds of ' Mcfly - Falling in Love written by Danny Jones'

Let's Begin.

Hi Colin Ross Mukri.
Welcome to your life. Welcome to all that has existed in you. Welcome to your walk with God.
Welcome, to your ballad.

18th July 2008

Alright, so whats been happening lately?
I'm enrolling into Nilai International University College(NIUC) where both Roy and Hosea went this 4th of August. Leaving Tawau this 31st of july! on AK5153 at 10.30AM. Thats less than two weeks from now! Ah, after 17 years of being in Tawau, I'm finally going to leave. Let's not get sad now shall we?
Moving on..
Im attending Passion Kuala Lumpur this august 3rd! My first Christian conference! Meeting a lot of friends there too (Mama Wong, Ruth, Yvonne, hope to see Ah Fung, Jill, and a lot lot more)
This came at the perfect timing, it should really kick start my journey to lead my life. Cant wait to be worshiping with thousands of brothers and sisters, Louie Giglio and Chris Tomlin's gonna be there too! Imagine the atmosphere.
My last days in Tawau - I plan to spend as much time with family and friends, hope to get in the studio with Don really soon!, visit nostalgia often, play and record as much videos of Fay fay(she is on a high fever currently), TBC! , and most of all - Tawau Food.
Other than that? I am a complete loser right now. Im blogging in my boxers while getting bitten by mosquitoes all over!
Anyway, Joey is dropping her pokemon series collection tomorrow (haha! gotcha Joey). Its 100% for Faith, Im just gonna accompany her to watch it. ALL DAY. heh heh heh.
Jane the hamster is going nuts by the way. ( named her Jane because its female version for tarzan) Phoebe the siamese cat is just outside my room door watching guard over her 6 kittens! Cant wait to play with them. Theyre gonna get tortured by Fay hahah.
Pause - Gotta feed Jane.
Back.
For you info, colin of the future, if you wanna keep the scorecards, joey is nagging on you to finish this post. Use that!
Okay, what else? Im hungry! but its 2.45AM!
Focus.


So yeah, I guess thats it for now. I'll keep you updated in the days to come, life will definitely be MORE exciting that it is now I assure you that.
There you go!